Love, Life, Happiness, and Pineapples

Weird thing to think about, isn’t it?

I understand that I am young, trust me I do, but I have done a lot of growing. I look at myself in the mirror and I look older, more clean cut, more mature. I have scars on my face from acne past and acne present, not that it’s bad. All this thinking was inspired by a sudden urge to listen to all the old musicals I used to listen to when I was only five years younger. Only five years. A whole lot has changed in five years. Most importantly, I started to stand up for myself. I changed schools to get a fresh start, I am sure of myself, I do what I love, and I am comfortable with the choices I have made. Of course, I’m still the theater loving, fine arts nerd I was. That’s OK, of course.

I started thinking about my old theater group, Encore, and I got sad. I spent a good five years of my life with them. I learned a lot. A whole hell of a lot, in fact. I started acting there and I had a hell of a time doing it. Of course, I ended well with the lead role in my final show. It was a fitting end to a fantastic run. I regret nothing, I really don’t. Now, several years later, I am just now returning to acting. I did The Complete Works of William Shakespeare: Abridged in the fall, and now I am planning on doingA Midsummer Night’s Dreamover the summer. Which is a bit odd becauseAbridged is a Shakespeare parody. Funny how things work.

Anyway, I felt like I would sure my quick reminiscence.

I will say, at least, that I have had an interesting 2 days. Exactly 2. I’ve had a hell of 1 month, but that’s beside the point.

My interesting 2 days revolves around several major points. The 1st being the f-bomb of a physics test being dropped on my fellow sophmores and I. After the review, in which no one did well, we had exactly 2 days to learn our mistakes in time for a unit test. At least 50% of the class was at the last minute study session after school today.

Also interesting was the epiphany I had last night. I should have done my idiotic semester long MYP project on Kingdom Hearts. I started a new file yesterday and it occurred to me; video games require everything that is good about a movie, plus the attention to detail, texture, and approachability of a good book. I could have done a thematic essay on Kingdom Hearts. The characters are strong, there are all kinds of interesting background tidbits that could make for an interesting essay. Oh well. Extended essay, I am ready for you now.

Now, 5 days ago, I was at a 16th birthday party for one of my friends. While not exciting, it gave me the chance to speak with one of my friends about my life. That’s always a bonus. Specifically, I was talking about how my first 4 or so attempts at having a relationship collapsed with an unsatisfactory sour taste still stinging my tongue. We start with my first, and only, true relationship. As I stated, I regret nothing up until the last 3 months or so. What followed requires no re-hashing, but did not make me optimistic for future encounters. The 2nd attempt resulted in being ignored. The 3rd got me utterly shut down. The 4th, and next closest to something positive, never got on its feet and eventually ended in a set of cold-shoulders and definitively little eye-contact. Now, of course, this was all preceded by an immensely irritating irrational behavior by my first real attempt way back in the 8th grade.

So let’s see what my subconscious has learned.

1. Girls are irrational and unpredictable at thebestworst of times.

2. A girl can turn around and let you go.

3. Girls can be confusing and won’t tell you what they really feel.

Now I don’t agree with any of this, and I wish to be proven wrong, but this is slowly what is being pressed upon my thinking. I am hope that anything will come easily in that department. Now this is important because it leads in to a present issue. That being Hannah, obviously. 48 hours ago, I exchanged approximately 38 text messages with a friend, I suppose he is a friend, from dance. Now, I don’t mind this guy when he isn’t acting like an ass. Unfortunately, that happens rather often. Anyway, somehow I ended up talking all about my letter writing and such with Hannah, whom he knows. He has a reputation of getting around with the women (If you know what I mean). He was surprisingly helpful and modest, but it still was a bit odd for me. What it boiled down to was how I am determined to not mess this up horribly and that is why it is taking me so bloody long to talk to her. He pointed out that I deemed getting her ‘#’ as a huge gigantic leap, which is absurd (But of course if I did I would have to emanate Scott Pilgrim and say “Girl number…”). I am so determined to not have another disheartening end, that I am afraid to do anything boisterous. As Kate, the ambiguous friend from the party, pointed out; I need to sort out what I’m aiming at before I make any move. I guess that’s fair. I can’t decide what I want to accomplish and it doesn’t help that I don’t really know this girl. I don’t know if I can ask her on a date, in the classic sense, without it meaning date in the modern, idiotic sense. I do not believe that I want to be a “thing” with her yet, but I would like to get to know her, otherwise known as date in the the classic sense.

I wrote her a good one this week. It more directly asks her what she is thinking about all this. Plus last week, I asked for some form of reply. Fingers crossed that I get one come Monday.

Wishing you all the best,

Trent.

I apologize for how sparse my posts have been, you see, my teachers having being trying to bump off all the sophomores these past two weeks. So much work. I have survived, and life appears to be mellowing out. However, I am leaving for my first ever dance competition (AHHHHH!!!!) so I have been nervous for that. I am very excited but I am also a bit nervous. Hopefully all goes well.

Wish me luck.

Think back long ago. Maybe not that long, but long enough.

Do we all remember the massive post about a modern class before spring break? Or, do we remember me talking about showing to Hannah?

Well I wrote her a little letter, note, thingy. I gave it to her today, not that she read it yet. I’ve already written another. I understand that its a bit off, but the question is; Is it creepy?

I don’t know her very well, granted that is part of the purpose of the letters. In this most recent one, half of it was devoted to introducing myself as a person.

Lets look at it from my perspective. I met a very nice, cute girl who would be a lot of fun to be friends with. The catch is that I have, plus or minus, five minutes a week to make an impression. Its a very tricky game to play. I figure that I have until the end of the dance year, since I won’t necessarily see her at all next year. The logical course of action is to create time outside of the five minutes. And because we are both very busy, and I don’t want to come on too strong, I decide to explain myself on paper.

So tell me now. Honestly, is it creepy?